Great post. Developing our emotional intelligence also has another benefit that does not get talked about as much but is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than how we act with others: it changes how we act with ourselves.
From years of therapy, what I've learned is that we can't be for others what we are not for ourselves. Trying to develop EQ because of "performance in the job" is very difficult, and a missed opportunity. If we develop EQ towards ourselves, we will naturally act like that with others. It's a win-win!
Every leader, not only CTO's, should have the ability to handle emotions. We all have them and it's not always happiness. It starts with listening and understanding the situation. Thank you for a great article.
The most successful leaders both as individuals and within businesses are those who prioritize life skills and human connections.
Those who understand that technical expertise alone isn’t enough, but that understanding people, fostering trust, and creating environments where teams can thrive drive real impact.
The ability to listen, connect, and navigate challenges with emotional intelligence isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for long-term success.
One of the first things I do when building a new online team is have listening sessions where I sit silently and listen to them tell me their stories. I approach each meeting with a calm focused mind and incredible curiosity. My goal for these initial one to one meetings is to being creating a safe space where feedback is clear, kind and timely. It’s not hard to create psychologically safe environments but it’s easy to destroy.
That's a great way to approach having a new team. I used to have instant solutions popping after the first 2 sentences (blame my ADHD). Being a good listener is an incredible leadership skill most leaders lack.
Great post. Developing our emotional intelligence also has another benefit that does not get talked about as much but is EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than how we act with others: it changes how we act with ourselves.
From years of therapy, what I've learned is that we can't be for others what we are not for ourselves. Trying to develop EQ because of "performance in the job" is very difficult, and a missed opportunity. If we develop EQ towards ourselves, we will naturally act like that with others. It's a win-win!
The journaling tip in this post is gold!!!!
Every leader, not only CTO's, should have the ability to handle emotions. We all have them and it's not always happiness. It starts with listening and understanding the situation. Thank you for a great article.
The most successful leaders both as individuals and within businesses are those who prioritize life skills and human connections.
Those who understand that technical expertise alone isn’t enough, but that understanding people, fostering trust, and creating environments where teams can thrive drive real impact.
The ability to listen, connect, and navigate challenges with emotional intelligence isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for long-term success.
One of the first things I do when building a new online team is have listening sessions where I sit silently and listen to them tell me their stories. I approach each meeting with a calm focused mind and incredible curiosity. My goal for these initial one to one meetings is to being creating a safe space where feedback is clear, kind and timely. It’s not hard to create psychologically safe environments but it’s easy to destroy.
That's a great way to approach having a new team. I used to have instant solutions popping after the first 2 sentences (blame my ADHD). Being a good listener is an incredible leadership skill most leaders lack.
Love how you illustrated the connection between emotional intelligence and psychological safety.
connection and trust with space for incongruence